Schezwan Or Manchurian

‘What caste?’ the Chinese official asked.

I told him my parents’ caste.

They do not like confusing answers like, ‘No caste.’

A guy who said ‘I have no religion’ was given 100 lashes of the cane, and assigned a religion and its associated ghetto. That idiot protested, ‘But, aren’t you atheists?’ The officer’s look of disdain said it all, ‘Yeah, as if our society is like yours.’

It was confusing and infuriating, at first. But, in their shoes, I would do the same. Suppose that I take over a place with weird sections and sub-sections. What would I do to minimize trouble and maximize returns? I would do the same. Why would I take a risk and let different people mix?

They have done some good. There was a snooty guy ahead of me. ‘What did you do?’ they asked. ‘I am a MBA,’ he replied. ‘Can you teach high school?’ they asked. ‘Of course not,’ he said. He was put in charge of the public toilets in my area.

I thought they would restrict our access to the world outside. Foreign media reported that our women have been enslaved as comfort women. That is not true. The old seedy red-light zone is now well-maintained, almost like a popular mall. The workers are healthy and very well paid. Lots of men and women have willingly joined that trade.

‘I love Chinese food,’ I told the official. Sure, I am buttering him up. I want a decent job, junior clerk would be lovely.

‘Schezwan or Manchurian…?’ he asked.

Which answer will get me the job, which 100 lashes?