Unpaid debt

I have unpaid debt.
Four grand to one,
Three grand to another,
A grand or two
To two or three more.

That's with interest.
For two and a half decades.

I will keep those debts.
That's to hate myself.
There's nothing worse
Than asking for a loan.

I was honest then,
Hardworking,
With principles too many.

But...

I needed money to go home,
With a gift or two,
With pride and all.
I needed company a day or two.
And one loan was for a love.

I will keep those debts.
That's to hate myself.
There's nothing worse
Than making excuses for a loan.

But...

I will hate them too.
Them who did not give me enough,
Them who took me for granted,
Them who taught me how to live
In this take-all-give-nothing world.
I will hate them
With murderous rage.
When I kill myself with hate
My claws will be
On their windpipe.

I will keep that hate.
I will keep those debts.