Tasks At The End

Arvind had planned it well. I don’t think my presence would have made any difference.

He had made the travel and hotel reservation three weeks in advance. On the third of January, he had taken the flight to Goa and checked in at a good resort. For two days, he had gambled at the casino, won little and lost lots, seemed happy, smoked and drank just a little too much, flirted with a girl at the bar. That’s what his cousin learnt from the police and later told me. On the second night, he had slit his wrists and waited for life to trickle away. He had done it in the bathtub. He must have thought that that would be less of an inconvenience to the hotel management. Of course, if he had chosen a place close to home, it would have been easier for his relatives. But, I don’t think he wanted to do them any favours. He had not left a suicide note at the resort.

He had sent it by post to me. I found the letter on the floor, slipped under the door, when I got back on the thirteenth of January after my three week official trip to London. He knew that I would see it only a week after he left.

On a thick paper, his flowery handwriting told me:

My dearest friend,

This time, I won’t try to disappoint you. Ha!

I beg you to do two tasks for me.

First, meet my parents and show them this letter. I have told you many times how my father destroyed my life. And my mother remained loyal to him and betrayed me.

Second, meet Anila. Again, please show this letter to her. You are the best person to tell her how much I loved her all my life. If only she had loved me or at least liked me – I could have continued.

Well, that’s it from me.

Your friend forever…Ha!

Arvind

He had thought of taking his life when we were in college. I remember that being mentioned during a rather embarrassing conversation that took place recently.

‘You saved my life…I do not know what I would have done without you…’ I think we were discussing our ‘good ol’ college days’ when he said this.

‘What do you mean?’ I had asked.

‘I would have taken my life then…but you saved me. I will never forget what you did…’

‘Arvind, I think you are blowing it out of proportion…’

‘What…that I planned to commit suicide then?’ he queried.

‘No…I meant…whatever I did…’

He had not seem too pleased with me or my admission about not caring that much. Talk about death or love or other personal matters bores me. I have never understood the need of some people to share such matters. From the two reproachful ‘Ha!’ in his letter, I presume that he held that grudge against me till the end. He was always ‘touchy’ about friendship. He took it too seriously and assumed that it had lots of obligations. Come to think of it, he was ‘touchy’ with regard to lots of things.

I met his parents the day after I read his letter. I had his letter in my pocket. His parents were glad to see me. They asked me if I knew why he had done such a deed. I sat with them for an hour. I watched the strong stubborn father talk lovingly about his child. He talked about a son I knew quite differently. I tried to console his mother as she wept silently. I did not show them his letter.

From there, I went to Anila’s house. I held her while she cried.

‘That crazy fool, why did he do it?’ she asked me between sobs.

‘I do not know.’ I replied truthfully.

‘I met him recently…it was weird and funny. He talked about liking me a lot during our school days. We laughed a lot about those days…we were such kids then, right?’

I slipped my right hand into my trouser pocket and brought out a little case. I made sure that his letter remained well within that pocket. I gave her the case. She opened it.

‘Wow! A pendant! Is this from London?’

She leaned towards me and kissed me on the lips.