Love Marriage

I realized that I love her through a rather insignificant event.

On that day, I was approached by the department Secretary regarding a day-long excursion. If interested, I was supposed to put my name on a form. By accident or sheer absence of mind, I entered her name instead of mine. The Secretary and the others laughed at my mistake. She looked at me with an amused and a rather thrilled look. The love part was decided then.

I woke up at around four in the afternoon and felt her warm body next to mine. I sat up against the pillows. She came closer and cuddled against me. I brushed aside her straight hair covering her face. I love to study her face at such moments, pleasant and peaceful, her lips and eyes, her long lashes, the sheen of sweat on her cheeks and neck, her breast rising against the sheet with each breath. I slipped my hand beneath the sheet and caressed her. She smiled in her sleep.

I have to decide if I want to conclude this love-affair with a marriage. It’s not that I have had other affairs which did not end in marriage. It is just an idea, a type of philosophy that says – not all love affairs should end that way.

For days and weeks, I have been filling and crossing a table of Pros and Cons; nothing earth-shattering, nothing really beyond the scope of compromise. But it is nice to think things through before the final leap.

She knows me well now. She even knows how I discard my underwear. I know how she discards hers. It is a good thing to know. I know that I am trying to skirt the main issues with levity.

We are well-adjusted professionally. We know the demands of our job and so, no nasty surprises there. Her cooking is improving but I love to cook and so, it is not really an issue. She is a vegetarian but ready to cook non-vegetarian for me. I should air the house well when I cook fish or other stuff with strong odour. She has already insisted on that during our meetings at my place. Fair enough.

Culturally and socially, we complement each other in a lot of ways. We don’t share the same tastes. That is fine. I know about her religious and political inclinations. No nasty surprises there, either. She has friends I can barely tolerate; and I think it is the same with her regarding my friends. Thankfully, there aren’t any bosom buddies on either side clamouring for attention. No long lost loves either, to trouble after expiry date.

Her folks are fine; financially, below mine. But, she and I are not going to depend on our parents and we don’t need to with our kind of paychecks. We already have enough for a few years even without a job.

It is quite likely that my folks and her folks won’t get along that well, class-wise or religion-wise or language-wise or whatever. Thankfully, we are on neutral territory at the moment. We might have to stay that way during the initial period of acclimatization. Kids might improve the situation between the two. Relatives will have to be kept at a distance. That is not going to cause any lasting heart-ache. There is only one big drawback associated with this - I can’t think of settling down in my home-town for quite some time.    

I have not met another girl who excites me like her, physically or mentally. That might be due to lack of experience or opportunity. But, after assessing my own potential (latent or obvious), I have to admit that she is a good deal. Till date, we have cared and loved. Hopefully, and probably, that will last. What was it my friend said? Ah yes, ``Man, if you can wake up and manage to look at your spouse without disappointment or without getting shocked, that is enough, man.’’

I think she might be enough. I guess I should wake her up and shock her with my plans for ending our affair with a marriage. Will she say `No’? Doesn’t matter; I have to do what I have to do, what I want to do.