‘Was the door of the
compartment open when you went to the toilet?’ the police inspector asked.
‘How many times
should I answer that?’ I grumbled, sounding tired and exasperated.
‘I haven’t asked you
that before,’ he said with a smile, looking smug.
He was right. He had
asked variations of the same. ‘Was the door open when you returned to your cabin?’,
‘Was the door closed when you went around midnight?’, ‘Was the door open when
you got out of the toilet, what did you say, ah yes, after half an hour in the
toilet, that’s a long time in a train toilet?’
‘I don’t know, I
don’t remember,’ I replied, the same for the fourth time.
‘Ok, let’s leave that
for the moment. Please bear with me,’ he said, the quintessence of the apologetic
good cop, ‘just want to get the report right, you know. There’s a lot of
attention on this case. Everyone, even the Home Minister, wants to know how that
old man fell off the train around midnight.’ He paused. ‘Let’s go through your
account once more, shall we? How about from the moment you boarded the train
yesterday?’
I went through the
account again, on automatic mode, hardly listening to myself speak.
You should have asked
me to start at the hotel, you fool, I thought. A week back, not yesterday. It
started then. It…
I must have smirked,
or flinched. The inspector looked at me. He should have asked me to share my
thoughts. Maybe, I would have obliged.
I would tell you that
I checked in around noon, last Friday. I was tired after the day-long onward train
journey but real glad to start my annual vacation. I had a shower before going to
the restaurant. At the entrance of the restaurant, on a blackboard, ‘Deal of
the day – 1 bottle of beer free with burger.’ The ‘1’ was underlined. I wanted
to tell the manager that the ‘free’ should be underlined instead.
I sat at a table
facing the pool. I decided to have a burger and the ‘1free’ bottle of beer. If
you had asked me, ‘When did it start?’ I would have told you, ‘It started with
that 1free beer.’
The waiter stood near
while I went through the list of burgers.
‘I will have what you
will have,’ I told the waiter, a young fair man, boy really, not more than
twenty.
‘Sir…?’ he said,
bemused, shy.
I thought, God, did
it sound like I was flirting?
I clarified to the
boy, ‘Help me choose. What would you have?’
‘I don’t know, sir.’
‘Come on, which is
your favourite burger in this list?’
‘I haven’t had any of
those, sir.’
I felt foolish. Did I
expect restaurants to feed their waiters the stuff on their menu?
I went through the
list quickly and ordered, ‘Creole chicken fillet burger.’
I avoided him during
my meal. I left a tip larger than required.
On my way out, I met
him near the door. He wished me, ‘Wish you a wonderful stay, sir.’ He has a
lovely smile. I smiled, nodded and left.
I did not return to
that restaurant for the rest of my stay. But, I met him on the second evening.
I was on my way to the City Centre. It must have been around six, the end of a hotel
shift. He was leaving by the exit used by the service staff.
He saw me and waited.
‘How are you, sir?’
he asked.
‘Good. How have you
been?’
‘Very good, sir…’
We walked together to
the main road. We spoke at the same time.
‘Are you going home?’
I asked.
He asked, ‘Are you
going out for dinner?’
We laughed.
‘Sir, I haven’t seen you
at the restaurant. I hope you were not disappointed with the food,’ he
hesitated, ‘or anything else?’
‘No, not at all,’ I
replied.
‘Please feel free to
ask, sir, if you need anything.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Sir, can I give you
my personal number? You can call me, any time.’
He told me his
number. He leaned towards me when he told me his name. I pretended that I was adding
his number to the contacts list on my mobile. I thought of asking him if he was
free, to have dinner with me, or just to talk. I decided not to prey on him.
The next day, Sunday,
I checked out of that hotel and shifted to another. I tried not to think about that
waiter-boy but that is a logical impasse. The harder I tried he took over me,
replacing me in old terrors. Even news items reminded me of him. On Tuesday, the
papers reported about a heavy-handed police crackdown on unlicensed spas and
massage parlours. I should have been thanking my lucky stars for not getting
caught in one of those police raids, instead of thinking of him.
That evening, I got
involved in a fracas at a casino. I needed that distraction.
I reached the casino early,
around seven. Four middle-aged men who arrived in a dark-tinted SUV were ahead
of me at the counter. They wore heavy gold rings and neck chains. Open shirts displayed
sick rolls of fat. They leered unabashedly at the female staff and commented
lewdly. No one objected. They played at the tables with high bets. I stuck to
the slot machines.
The incident happened
when I was returning from the gents’. In the badly lit hallway leading to the
toilets, one of those uncouth men made a pass at a lady customer. That led to a
loud verbal brawl. The bouncers turned up, but before they could throw the two
parties out, the lady phoned her husband, or the police. She claimed to be the
wife of some big shot. She refused to let her offender slip away and threatened
legal action against the casino if they allowed that. The prey and the predator
had reversed their roles. He was visibly well-shaken and stirred. His flagging
bravado leaned heavily on his cronies’ support. When the police turned up, the lady
accused him of physical assault.
She pointed at me and
told the police, ‘He saw it.’
I nodded. What I saw
is a moot point; maybe, the man made an offer she could refuse. It just seemed
right to nod.
That affair went on
for some time at the casino; and at the police station most of the next day, till
they reached a fair settlement. The lady slipped me, and probably the police
too, a percentage of those earnings.
I ended my vacation
the next day, Thursday, yesterday. I got to the station by noon, and while
waiting for the train, which was delayed by an hour, I thought about the boy
again.
Now, that could be of
interest to you. You should ask me about my thoughts then; before I boarded the
first-class compartment; before I met my companions in the cabin, the young
mother with a child of three or four and the old couple. If you are bothered
about the motive, you might want to know my thoughts before I met that old man
who fell off that train around midnight.
I heard myself tell
the police inspector that I do not know the names of those fellow-passengers. I
told him that we never introduced ourselves and that we did not engage in idle
chat, which was true. I did not tell him that I had noticed ‘Shanthi Biswas, Female,
age 28’ on the chart pasted near the door and not the other names, not that
that really matters.
I was the last to
enter the cabin. The others had already settled down, their luggage tucked beneath
the seat. The old couple and the young lady seemed to be acquaintances. I
gathered that they are from the same neighbourhood. The kid was a brat, and allowed
to make a racket, spit sticky sweets and scatter torn paper on the floor. I
scowled at the boy and the young mother caught me doing that. I was persona non grata from then on to that
group.
I was seated near the
window, with the old man facing me and the ladies near the door of the cabin.
The kid demanded a window seat.
‘Sit next to Appuppa (old man affectionately called grandfather),’
the mother told her boy. The way she spoke and pointed out the place next to
the old man made it explicit that the kid should not go anywhere near me.
I kept myself to
myself, and concentrated on the book I bought at the station, ‘No Orchids for Miss Blandish’. How many
times have I bought that book and read it on such trips?
The old man told the
boy some story. The kid was more interested in loudly counting the electric
poles the train passed. The two ladies talked about their vegetable gardens,
the rising cost of foodstuff, the pesticides and poisons used in the market,
and by tea-time they were planning to start a women’s co-operative society. After
tea, the ladies stretched their legs and napped. The boy finally tired also dozed
off, leaning against the old man. The old man sat silently, looking outside. I
closed the book and my eyes, but I could not sleep. The old man’s hairy left
hand was around the boy’s shoulder and his right paw on the boy’s lap.
Around half past
five, a middle-aged lady came to our cabin. The three ladies seemed terribly
excited about their ‘surprise meeting’. The newcomer urged the other two to
join her in her cabin, which had ‘only one other passenger, and more space for
serious talk’.
‘Oh, I can’t leave
him,’ the young mother said, pointing at her son.
‘Don’t worry, he will
take care,’ the old lady said. Her husband gave a gruff assent, and indicated
that they should not disturb the sleeping boy. The ladies scooted off without
any further prompting.
I returned to my book. My thoughts drifted
away from the plight of Miss Blandish to the young waiter-boy at the hotel, to
my earlier thoughts while waiting on the platform for the train. I wondered
about his past, and my past. It can’t be different, I thought, otherwise, he
wouldn’t be offering himself to men like me. I also thought about the future of
the kid in front of me. I felt bile rise to my mouth. I nearly retched. I felt
the chill of sweat in the air-conditioned cabin, my hand and jaw clenched
tight. Some get to enjoy daydreams, my kind suffer nightmares, awake or not,
repeating, never-ending, too often.
The kid woke up at
six. He was not too disturbed by the absence of his mother, and readily
accepted the old man’s explanation that his mother was just next door, and that
she would be back soon.
‘Now, don’t get upset
over that,’ the old man cooed to the boy who seemed hardly upset. The old man
lifted the boy onto his lap, his hairy arm around the boy’s waist, rocking the
boy against his groin, laughing, talking some nonsense. Quite engrossed in
their play, they did not even look at me.
After a while, the
old man got up.
‘Let’s go for a
walk,’ he said.
The boy did not want
to leave his window seat.
‘Come,’ the old man
stood at the door and said sternly. The kid followed, holding the old man’s
hand.
They were gone for fifteen
minutes. The boy returned to his window seat and peered outside. The old man
sat close to him.
‘Don’t tell your
mother. She won’t like to hear that you made me take you for susu and that you took out your nunu in front of me,’ the old man
whispered to the boy. ‘Let it be our secret that we susued together.’
He looked up and saw
me staring. He winked at me.
The ladies came back
around seven. We were served dinner at eight. By half past nine, the train
staff had made the beds and the passengers settled down for the night. I
offered my lower berth to the old lady. Her husband took the other lower berth.
The young mother and the boy climbed onto the upper berth opposite mine. She
resolutely kept her back towards me, shielding herself and her kid. I lay awake
and waited.
Around eleven, I
stepped out of the cabin. The passageway was dark except for light in the cabin
close to the exit near my end of the compartment. I looked in. The ticket
examiner occupied the otherwise empty cabin and he was going through receipts
and tallying it with the list of passengers.
I knocked at the
door. The ticket examiner looked up. Though he seemed taciturn, he turned out
to be fine company. I told him that I wasn’t feeling sleepy. He did not mind
the chit-chat. When I brought out my hipflask, he smiled. We drank slowly,
silently, alert about any footfalls. He had a job to lose and me my plans. None
of the passengers even got up for a leak during our drinking session, but given
the chill of the air-conditioner, I expected a few to wake up during the course
of the night, especially guys like the old man. My drinking partner and I
shared a few pegs, even smoked near the exit door beneath the sign ‘Smoking is
prohibited’. Around midnight, the ticket examiner decided to catch forty winks
before the next train station at 4 am. I told him that I planned to sleep till
my stop at 10 am. I went towards my cabin, waited outside for ten to fifteen
minutes and then retraced my steps to the exit. On my way, I checked out the
ticket examiner’s cabin. He was lying on his back, snoring beneath a blanket covering
him from head to toe. I was not too worried about him. Even if he saw me, he
would have assumed that I was finishing off the contents of my hipflask or
having another smoke. I was quite sure he would deny seeing me, unless he
wanted to lose his job by admitting to drinking and smoking with me.
I waited near the
door, and watched the dark passageway. I knew that that’s all I had to do,
wait; and, of course, steel myself to take a risk or two. The old man had
waited that afternoon and taken risks. Someone somewhere must have waited for
the young waiter when he was a lot younger, that’s the way with predators, including
the one who preyed on me when I was not even ten. Around quarter to one, my
wait came to an end. I saw the old man step out of the cabin. He came towards
me, head down, shuffling, groggy with sleep, a hand already fumbling with the
zip of his pants. I slipped into a toilet. I heard the old man enter the other
toilet. I stepped out, opened wide the exit door of the compartment. The night
air was fresh, the biting wind refreshing, the area dark and uninhabited, and
on either side, the compartments were dark, the train a large black snake
slithering forward.
The old man came out
of the toilet. He was surprised to see me at the door.
‘What are you doing?
Why aren’t you sleeping?’ sounding very much the affectionate old man he
wasn’t.
‘Looking at the moon,’
I said, ‘it’s lovely.’
‘Really…?’ he made a
move to get past me to the inside.
‘Take a look,’ I
said, beckoning him to the open door, blocking the way inside. He obliged, shuffled
to the door and leaned a little to the outside.
‘What moon?’ he
asked.
‘New moon,’ I said. Then,
it sounded like a good joke.
All I had to do was
push his back.
I left the exit door
open and went back to the cabin. The ladies and the kid were sleeping. I
climbed onto my berth and slept soundly.
At six or so, the old
lady woke up to find her husband missing.
The old lady told the
police inspector, between loud sobs and fainting bouts, that she had not heard
her husband, or anyone, get up. She mentioned that her husband had the habit of
relieving himself once or twice during the night. But she had not heard him,
she kept on repeating, crying. She protested loudly when the inspector asked
her if her husband had had any reason to commit suicide.
The inspector did not
interview us separately when he was gathering the initial statements. In fact,
he seemed to be in a rush to get it stamped as a suicide. I told him that I had
used the toilet around midnight, and that I had seen only the ticket examiner. I
chose to be vague about the time. The ticket examiner confirmed that he had
seen me going to the toilet, adding that he had been going through the receipts
then. The ticket examiner placed me there well before midnight.
The young mother told
the policeman that she had seen me go out of the cabin around eleven. I
wondered how she had managed to see me with her facing the other way. She
seemed disappointed when unable to add anything to her account that could
inconvenience me.
No one had noticed
the old man during the night, in the cabin or near the toilet.
The police did not
question the boy. Whatever his experience with the old man remained a secret.
Even later, at the
station, I kept my account to the bare minimum. I told the inspector that I sat
near the window most of the day, read a book, had tea and dinner when served,
used the toilet before midnight and that was that.
It was probably the smell
of liquor on my breath, or on the ticket examiner, that made the inspector
probe more. That must have made him wonder why I had left that out from my
account. If pushed, I was ready to admit the drinking session with the ticket
examiner, though the poor chap might lose his job. Maybe, it was not my bad
breath that made the inspector focus his attention on me. He had looked at my
book and exclaimed, ‘Oh! James Hadley Chase!’ It is possible he thinks that a
guy who reads Chase cannot be totally legit. Not that I really care about his
suspicions.
‘So, did you see the
old man before or after you used the toilet around midnight?’ I heard him ask,
trying the fifth or sixth variation.
I smiled and replied,
‘I did not see him, sir.’
The inspector was
beginning to lose patience, never a good sign if you are a predator after a
prey.